|
Setting the intention of losing 30kg was one of the scariest decisions I made, ever. But when Vincent Chiew did my assessment and went through my vital statistics, that shocked realization at how bad my health was got me through the fear and into deciding that I must and will do something significant and positive about myself.
I am 44 years old, a single mother to 2 gorgeous little boys who are just 7 years and 5 years old. 2018 was quite possibly the worst year in my entire life. I had to sell my restaurant, which had been a huge part of how I identified and defined myself over the past 13 years.
When I weigh in on what defined 2018 for me, it is the absolute break in friendship with this friend. With hindsight, I think I may have reached the stage of clinical depression by Q3 of 2018. I was a shadow of my former bubbly personality, and I really was struggling to just wake up in the mornings. Only the routine of my regular weekly business meetings kept me sane. I wasn’t doing much business per se, but the regularity of the routine and meeting friends who were generally upbeat and positive helped get me through those difficult months.
This was when Vincent approached me. “The time is now” he said, because during this period of reflection is when I should be focusing on myself and really thinking hard about what I want the new and single Sherena to be like when I get my divorce finalized.
Vincent punched me in the gut when he asked me “What’s going to happen to the boys if you get a heart attack or get really sick because you are not taking care of yourself? Will you condemn the boys to being raised by their useless, irresponsible father?”. I didn’t like it, I thought it was harsh, but it was also true.
And so, on 30 January 2019, I took my first set of ‘before’ photos. I wore one of my favourite dresses – it is a lovely shade of pink, and I always thought I looked pretty good in it. But when I saw the photos, I nearly cried. I looked like a heifer, my tummy was massive and my bottom even more so. I think all overweight people develop the skill to not see themselves in the mirror, because if we looked at ourselves properly, we might not be able to deal with how much we had let ourselves go.
And so, it began… Vincent put me on Step 3, and then then Step 2 for 3 days each. I was so hungry, it wasn’t easy. I was also very irritable because I had been comfort eating for so long that when I was trying to stop, I felt deprived. I questioned myself why I was doing this. And my poor boys were being scolded over and over for small transgressions by a very grumpy mummy.
2 days into Sole Source, all of the irritability went away, thank goodness. I still craved food, but Vincent was a great help – he kept in touch with me several times a day, and made sure that I was ok. I learned the difference between actual hunger and craving for comfort food. This vital period of getting started was that much easier, because I knew that when I felt like I was going to fall off the wagon, I could call Vincent and get the support and encouragement I needed from him. I needed that to keep me going. By the end of the first week, I had lost an amazing 3.7kg.
Being on Sole Source became a conversation starter. I shared my story on Facebook for the purpose of creating an entire contact list-full of accountability partners. This way, if I ever fell off the wagon, every single person I know would know I had and that was an effective deterrent.
The comments I received were encouraging. But several were doubtful (“How can you survive on a liquid diet? You love food so much, Sherena!” they said) and openly scornful (“It will never work. Once you stop, you’ll go back to your own size again. You are wasting your money”). Others tried to impose their own views (“I don’t believe in all this processed food. It’s better to eat proper food - lots of fresh vegetables and proper protein”). And even more tried to get me to convert to the weight management plan that they were on! Worst was when they declared that setting a goal for 30kg weight loss was unrealistic and that it couldn’t be done.
But by and large, the majority of the comments I received were encouraging. Many said they were rooting for me, and sent virtual hugs and thumbs up. Many praised the fact that I was doing something so positive about my health. I liked that so many of my friends were so encouraging. I put it out there on my social media to create accountability for my goal, and instead I found so many supporters.
Four weeks into CWP, I hit a major milestone. Strongly encouraged by Vincent, I decided to pull out some clothes out from the bottom of the cupboard. I pretty much danced around the room when for the first time in over 5 years, I could fit into my jeans!!! I could actually pull them up past my hips! I almost cried, I was so happy! My tummy was much smaller, my bottom looked nicely curved (instead of looking like a big ball) and I thought I looked pretty hot too!
Suddenly the world became a brighter place. As the inches and kilos melted away slowly but surely, I regained much of my lost confidence. I also got my waist back. And then, to encourage myself further, I decided that once my divorce-cooling off period was over, myself and a group of girlfriends would plan a short staycation and celebrate my divorce. We would stay at the beach for the staycation, and we would wear bikinis. I know that I would be able to be bikini ready by early July – because the Cambridge Weight Plan would get me there. This was my own personal slightly-selfish reason for losing weight.
As for the bigger-and-more-important reason why I want to lose weight – all is good there too! Just 2 weeks into CWP, I was off my blood pressure and blood sugar medication. My blood pressure dropped from 158/103 to 130/85, and my blood sugar dropped from 11.8 to 5.5 respectively. That was just after 2 weeks!!! I had been trying to get off my medication for 2 years but I just couldn’t get the numbers down. It is amazing that just 2 weeks with Vincent could achieve what 2 years with my doctor couldn’t.
Since then, I have achieved several more milestones. I am gradually bringing more clothes out of storage, and packing away clothes which are just too big and baggy for me to wear. There is a certain kind of satisfaction in being able to say “Nope, can’t wear this anymore. It’s just too big” when for the longest time, it was the opposite!
I have a wardrobe full of beautiful clothes. I do dress well, and I dress up for work. I have invested in my business by dressing myself in dresses and frocks suitable for attending different types of events. But now, I have the wonderful problem of not being able to look good in many of these dresses cos they are just too big right now. Hooray! For my favourite dresses, the plan is to take them to a good tailor, and have them altered to fit my shape and size when I have reached my goal.
That night, I started praying and being grateful to God for bringing amazing people back into my life. As I started listing out my reasons for being grateful, I realized one very important thing – opportunities for earning money came in leaps and bounds after I practiced gratefulness. And the first name on my list to whom I was grateful for is Vincent. It was after he convinced me that I should come onto CWP that things started working out right.
Opportunity after opportunity came my way. It got to the point where I was almost apprehensive about accepting invitations to meet up with old because I was already overwhelmed with the invitations to collaborate and work together. As I spoke with these friends, I realized something very interesting. Because I was posting about my CWP journey on social media, because I was sharing my story and how it was having such a great impact on my life, these old friends said they were inspired by my journey and many of them had thought that if Sherena can do this now so successfully when 2018 was such a terrible year, then she can do anything, and is therefore the right person to work on me for this project or job. What an amazing conclusion! Who would have thought that going onto CWP with the intention of only reclaiming my health would catapult me into the stratosphere and open up doors which I didn’t even know existed.
On a personal front, I made 2 big decisions about reclaiming the ‘old me’. 15 years ago, I was a very active salsa dancer, and I loved the music and how it moved me. 12 years ago, I stopped dancing because I was in a very toxic relationship and leaving the salsa scene in KL was the only way I could think of to get away from him. And once I got married in 2008, I dropped all ideas of ever returning to the salsa scene.
2 weekends ago, a friend invited me to her birthday party at a salsa venue. Since I had regained my body confidence, I dressed myself to be salsa-ready. When I walked into that salsa venue, the nicest thing happened – the salsa teacher Gupson actually stopped teaching the beginner’s class and exclaimed “Oh my god. I can’t believe what I am seeing” with a huge smile on his face. Then he came and hugged me. Gupson was my 3rd ever salsa teacher – and it was wonderful that he remembered me after so many years. And I shook my bon-bon so much that night, I felt like I had come back into my own. That night, I danced with my favourite dance partner Jeff again and also with my first dance teacher, Sam. Logically, there is no way that muscle memory can last 12 years, but it was like I had never left salsa at all. My dance with Sam was like amazing, we did all those crazy-fancy dance moves and rocked the dance floor. For sure all the ‘new’ dancers were wondering who is this girl whom they do not know but can dance like that with Sam and Jeff? It was exhilarating. So now, I plan to be smoking up the dance floor every other weekend (when the boys are with their father) and reclaiming that alive and vibrant part of me.
Here’s the thing though, I know I would not have gotten on the dance floor at all, and maybe even skipped the birthday party altogether if I was still fat-and-frumpy Sherena. But with the weight loss I had achieved so far (and I am still not done yet, I am about half way to my goal) I had the confidence to get myself back onto the dance floor, and find myself again. That’s invaluable for me.
On another front, I have always been a relatively active person. I run in 10km and 12km races and have collected 16 finisher medals to date. This was all throughout the shambles of my marriage. About 3 years ago when I was roughly 98kg in weight, a group of buddies invited me to go hiking with them. I lasted just 10mins, and we were hiking up a slight incline. I could hear the blood roaring through my head and I was dizzy to the point of nausea. I sat down and couldn’t take another step. It took me 10mins to begin to move again, and that was only to the top of the incline so that I could sit down on flat ground. I then couldn’t move for another 20mins. I never went hiking again after that, I was that traumatized.
3 weekends ago, now that I was significantly lighter at 82kg, I allowed myself to be persuaded to go hiking again. I got through the entire 1.5hour hike, and did so well that I didn’t even have the horrible exhaustion and massive headache that I have come to associate with over-doing the exercise and pushing myself beyond my physical limits. I survived the hike, and I survived it well. The next weekend, I joined the hiking group again, and this was slightly tougher with steeper inclines and longer distances. Again, I survived it well.
During my 3rd hike of this year (so far) which was just yesterday, we pushed ourselves even further with a 5 hour hike up some very steep inclines and a wonderful break at a waterfall in the middle. Think about it - a 5-hour hike when I couldn’t manage 10mins before? Yesterday during the hike, I walked almost 18,000 steps and climbed 102 floors. That’s massive!
I love that the weight I have lost so far enables me to reclaim my lost confidence and vitality. And I love that the weight I have lost enables me to try new things and push me to achieve things which I never would have ever imagined I could do. I have now started a bucket list as follows (in no particular order):
1) Conquer Mount Kinabalu in 2020
2) Get my 10km run time to sub 1:30
3) Earn a 21km half marathon finisher medal
4) Fit into my super-sexy green lace kebaya (a form fitting traditional outfit) that I last wore in 1999
These are mostly physical goals. I know absolutely that I will achieve these physical goals because CWP and Vincent will get me there. Losing weight and inches is just that, it’s a physical achievement related to my health. The mental achievement and indirect effect of achieving these goals will be getting back my self-confidence and getting back the ‘old’ Sherena whom I thought was lost forever. I will be a better parent when I have the confidence to put myself out there and achieve what I am looking for. That is priceless.
Thank you, Cambridge Weight Plan and Vincent, – for making it possible for me to regain my health and my confidence. Thank you for making it possible for me to regain the ‘old’ me.
Just thank you.
|
